We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls. Anais Nin
I can't explain it much, but traveling is in my blood. I am not sure if it can be genetic or not, but somehow it is woven deep within the roots of my soul. I come from a long line of wanderers. Some with a purpose, others just to explore. On both sides of my family there have been many cross country road trips, explorations, moves. There have been many hours logged on the road. Sometimes that makes you want to stay, to grow roots and not constantly be changing things. Enough is enough some would say, but not me. Although, I would sometimes love a house, with fences, a garden and roots that sometimes is not very often. More times I dream, I dream big about different places and what it would be like to live there. I wonder what the people are like and how they treat each other. I wonder what the "American dream" has become for them. I wonder if they see the master Creator like I do. I like to stay, but more than stay, I like to go. Explore. Learn. Grow and love. Experience.
It is a tough road. A road less traveled these days. I love my family, I love to be a part of things. To watch my nieces and nephews grow and become. I love that, I wouldn't want to miss any part of their lives. But I love to go. I love seeing my brothers and sisters turn into parents. And my parents become grandparents. How does one want to stay and go at the same time? How do you be a part of the same but become something new. It is impossible. There is no easy way. No way to live in both worlds. At times that in itself can become heart wrenching. But there is a will to move on.
Maybe there are more people. Others to love and to show God's love to. That must be it, a purpose- One written before time itself. To go, on the road and to love. To give endlessly and to plant seeds, seeds that one day may thrive to eternal life. Why else would going be so strong in my heart.....
Life on the road, or being a traveling man is constant change and transition. You're settled into a new town and then it is time to move on to another. And although that is what you want, it also becomes something you do not want. The change. the fear. the preparation. But then the excitement, the new it overwhelms you. And it is all ok again. A travelin man is complicated. I want everything and nothing all at the same time.
It becomes hard to relate to people sometimes too, especially when your travels leave you stagnant for a while. People question where your roots are? They wonder why you always go and never stay..... how does one who always goes relate to one who always stays? It can be frustrating. Sometimes it can be hard to connect to friends. The ones who always stay. They have roots, and lives, and kids, and many things that a travelin man cannot be a part of. And sometimes it makes me want to have those things. But then the urge begins to course through my veins and I know I must go again.
I love to tell people of the places I have been and the beauty I have witnessed and all the positive change I have seen in other people. But I begin to realize the road, the going is not for everyone. Just as staying is not for everyone. And in that I find some sort of peace.
Yes, the life of a traveling man can be hard, but I don't think I would have it any other way. So I pray, "Here am I. Send me. And may only one name be praised at the end of it all.
Amen
