Although the year has been pretty good for me and jord, it seems that since around October we have been hearing bad news after bad news from our closest friends and family members. Yesterday, I heard more and it just about crushed me. What do you say to those who are suffering? To those facing loss? To those who are near death? what can you even say????I find myself wanting to run.... run to some kind of lake or river in the middle of no where and just sit in the silence. I want to sit in the midst of his creation and just cry out to him. Lord why? Why is there so much pain? Why did you allow these things to happen? I want to sit on edge of this lake and weep. Even though the pain is not my own, I feel as if every bad news was mine. My families pain and hurt is my own. And I wish I could take it on myself. I will bear their burdens if it means they don't have to. I sit on the edge of this lake and scream into the midst.. as if it was to the very one who caused all the hurt. I yell and I weep until my body can't handle anymore. And then I rest my back onto a tree that sits on the water's edge. I sit quietly trying to catch my breath from all the crying and then the sun pops out through the clouds, not a lot, just enough to touch my face and hear a quiet whisper.... 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' I can breathe a little easier now and feel some kind of hope. And then I hear, 'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' My heart slows down some and I remember who is in control. I sit and watch the water move slowly and rhythmically and I begin to feel peace wash across my soul. I can be mad and sad and not understand why things happen. I can cry and feel so helpless but at the end of it all I need to acknowledge who God is. And let his perfect peace wash over me and TRUST that ultimately he has every one of my family members and friends in his hands. He has a perfect plan. As he says, 'before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Do not be afraid.... for I am with you... declares the Lord. He made each one of us, he knew me, he knew you before we were even created. And that is where we HAVE to find peace. Beyond every pain and hurt we must know He is bigger than all things and we just need to believe that... rest in that.
May you be filled with peace, love and some kind of understanding in these hard times
4"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
