Finding Peace....

Although the year has been pretty good for me and jord, it seems that since around October we have been hearing bad news after bad news from our closest friends and family members. Yesterday, I heard more and it just about crushed me. What do you say to those who are suffering? To those facing loss? To those who are near death? what can you even say????

I find myself wanting to run.... run to some kind of lake or river in the middle of no where and just sit in the silence. I want to sit in the midst of his creation and just cry out to him. Lord why? Why is there so much pain? Why did you allow these things to happen? I want to sit on edge of this lake and weep. Even though the pain is not my own, I feel as if every bad news was mine. My families pain and hurt is my own. And I wish I could take it on myself. I will bear their burdens if it means they don't have to. I sit on the edge of this lake and scream into the midst.. as if it was to the very one who caused all the hurt. I yell and I weep until my body can't handle anymore. And then I rest my back onto a tree that sits on the water's edge. I sit quietly trying to catch my breath from all the crying and then the sun pops out through the clouds, not a lot, just enough to touch my face and hear a quiet whisper.... 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' I can breathe a little easier now and feel some kind of hope. And then I hear, 'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' My heart slows down some and I remember who is in control. I sit and watch the water move slowly and rhythmically and I begin to feel peace wash across my soul. I can be mad and sad and not understand why things happen. I can cry and feel so helpless but at the end of it all I need to acknowledge who God is. And let his perfect peace wash over me and TRUST that ultimately he has every one of my family members and friends in his hands. He has a perfect plan. As he says, 'before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Do not be afraid.... for I am with you... declares the Lord. He made each one of us, he knew me, he knew you before we were even created. And that is where we HAVE to find peace. Beyond every pain and hurt we must know He is bigger than all things and we just need to believe that... rest in that.

May you be filled with peace, love and some kind of understanding in these hard times

⁴"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

inspiring words...

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Things we do.....

Crawl on the grass in the backyard searching for 4-Leaf Clovers!!! I found my first one!

So excited!

Sometimes we make a feast to watch football- BBQ Chicken Nachos

BBQ Chicken Salad

We love having one car because we get to drive each other to work and spend that time together.

Sometimes Jordan's build forts in the living room with our little buddy Shayden.

Sometimes I come home to my living looking like this...

Or we play on the beach and draw on the sand.

A different kind of Turkey Day

I woke up a little earlier than Jordan on Thanksgiving morning to get some coffee, toast, and bacon started. We were feeling a little discouraged because Jordan had to work at 2pm. But we decided to make the best of it. I set up the coffee table with a few little decorations just to remind us what day it was.

Eric decided to be adventurous and deep fry a turkey. He worked really hard to get it done before Jordan had to work. Isn't that bird so cute?!

He got a full rub down.....

Then the boys decided why not fry up a few more things!? It was so good!

I had to make some candied sweet potatoes... my grandma always does that and it just wouldn't have felt like Thanksgiving without it! All in all it was a great morning and though it was hard to spend the holiday apart we feel so blessed. Not only was it a perfect year to be apart since we didn't have our family here and because we had already spent our "First" thanksgiving together last year but mostly because we are so lucky to have JOBS in this broken economy. We moan and groan at times but consider it a true blessing to have a place to call work! Hope your turkey day was good!

A Day of Thanksgiving...

Every year I grow to appreciate this holiday more and more and every year I try to incorporate it into my every day. Jordan is wonderful at this. He encourages me to choose small things to celebrate and to be grateful. Every day we try to remember things we are thankful for, even if it is just a morning together or a nice day at the beach. We are so truly blessed and it is so good to remember it. So here is my list for the day....

I am thankful for...

1. An all-knowing, all-powerful, everlasting loving God. There is not a day where I can forget this. From the depths of my soul, to every beat of my heart and every cell in my brain I can only give thanks to him. I have been so overwhelmed with his grace this year. I have done nothing, and will never do anything to deserve heaven, he knew that, and he still created me. He still wanted me and still chose to save me. It's a beautiful and wonderful thing.

2. A devoted and incredible husband. Every day I continue to fall even more in love with this man. Not because he is perfect, or I am perfect or that we are perfect.... but because we are imperfect and he still chooses to love and respect me. I am blown away by the fact that no matter what is going on in our world he always has my best interest in mind. I am so blessed by him, because the way that he loves me has set an example of how Christ loves us. I think to myself if this man chooses to love an imperfect me how much more does God love me. It is a good reminder and I feel so lucky to have this every day to keep me in check! He works so hard to provide for our little family. He carries the responsibility on his shoulders to make sure that he is doing what he can for us. I love that about him. He is my stronghold on this earth. And I am so thankful that he can make me laugh like he does. A day without laughter is a wasted one!

3. Family- I feel so grateful for the way my family has grown and really exemplified love in the past few years. As every family has rough spots, we have had ours, but through the weddings and babies I have seen our family continue to grow closer together and it is such a beautiful thing. I am filled with so much joy. I love each one of them and am thankful!!!! And as for my "in-laws" I could really not ask for a better family to inherit. I love them as my own, and cannot begin to express how grateful I am for each one of them. They have added so much to my life and continue to do so. Not only did I get them as family but as life long friends and confidants! I am so blessed.

4. Basic life needs- Going from a little extra money to barely any in this past year was a little bit of a shocker as our lives transitioned from Tucson to Hawaii. But I couldn't be any more grateful than I am right now. Living minimally really can bless you. Everyday and every week I learn to depend on the only one who provides. And provides eternally. I am so grateful that we have a bed, running water, and food on the table. How fortunate are we to have these luxuries!!! Water, food, a bed. . . realize they are luxury compared to many parts in this world.

5. "Family"- I am so thankful for our "family" made of friends and neighbors. Every new place we adventure we tend to add a few more to this group. A growing community of people who would do anything for each other, love each other and encourage each other. I am thankful for each and every one of them.

6. Eden- I am grateful that I can still find glimpses of Eden in this world. The perfect and beautiful garden. Untouched, untamed. When I find these "eden" moments.... my soul is calmed. All the world stands still. And I am so thankful that I have eyes and ears to experience it! Thank you God for giving us a beautiful world.

Trying to get creative...

So we are pretty excited about our adventure coming up and now I just got to think of some ways to make some extra money... this is what I got so far:

1. Of course BABYSITTING!

2. Dog Sitting or walking?!
3. Recycling cans and bottles- maybe asking others to do it as well if i provide trash cans and pick up service once a week? Or maybe digging through trash cans and going for walks......
5. Personal assistant?

6. House cleaner?

I need more ideas.

Finally a dream!!

It's kind of a crazy feeling these past few weeks, we know that our December 8th departure date is sneaking up on us. We must leave this paradise, and head home. It's not all sad though. We cannot wait another minute to get home to hug our families, chase Marley Grace through the yard and take her on adventures, kiss sweet Levi and meet his new little grown up self, meet Logan Lee for the first time and love on him, and welcome Zoe James into this world.... coming home means so many exciting things. So many good reunions. We can't wait to see Justin, Tyler, Chelsea, Burge, Sam, Brittany, and all of our amazing Fallbrook family. There are so many good things to come home to. So much to be thankful for. But then again, we have family out here too in Kauai. Stef our landlord and Jordan's boss and close friend, Eric our brother, Joel, and Ryan, Evan, and so many other people who have been so good to us. Our jobs are finally coming together out here and our finances are finally coming together and now its time to leave. I can never get sick of waking up, walking out to our lanai and smelling the sweet Hawaiian flowers and feel the cool air dance on my face. How do you walk away from this?! Family means everything to us so we will, but finally we came up with our next adventure!!! After spending a few months at home we have figured out WHAT'S NEXT! Isn't that always the big question in our minds when we feel a chapter is ending. There is always that lingering, somewhat haunting question of what will be next....

This is a rough draft but we are hoping we can make it happen!!! We have decided that before we commit on moving to a new town we kind of want to do some window shopping! Not only that but we want to find more of Eden. More untouched, beautiful and insane masterpieces of our Creator. So we are planning a 6-8 week road trip that will take us through California, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Montana!!!!, Idaho, Washington, Oregon and then back through California. Our main goal is to hit up some of the most incredible National Parks in our country, meet new and familiar people along the way, and to window shop for future homes! Here is a sneak preview of our trip!!!

Our first stop will be Las Vegas. We have family here and as many of you might not know we don't traditionally hit the strip. There are some amazing places outside of the main attraction that are filled with artists, musicians and all those kinds of people. This is the Vegas that we love. The misfits, the outcasts, and those hidden in the shadows of the bright lights!

Then we want to hit Canyonlands National Park, the place where 127 hours was filmed. There are some incredible canyons and caves. It's a whole new kind of beauty. Desert beauty, it takes a different kind of soul to truly appreciate a place like this. It is so quiet. . . you can hear your soul. Oh man, I can't wait to be here.

Next stop Yellowstone National Park! We have always wanted to go here. If you live in America I feel like you should have visited here at least once! Plus, I sometimes wonder if Wyoming even exists. I need proof!

Oh and the next stop..... Montana! Glacier National Park. For some reason, Montana has been on our hearts. I am not sure if you have ever seen pictures of this place, but my goodness our Creator has done his magic here. Breathtaking. I can't wait to be there, to stand in the midst of it and just listen.

Then we plan to hit up Coeur'd'Alene, Idaho. We have family here, Jordan's Aunt and Cousins. We have been wanting to visit and to go fishing with them! We get jealous every time they post pictures! It will be fun to meet everyone and to relax in a new town!

Seattle, for some reason has a little piece of my husband's heart. I am not sure why, so we need to go there together to find out! I gotta figure out why he loves this place so much! Plus we might get to see some family while we are here!

Then off to Arcata County. I have heard and seen so many beautiful things about this place. I can't wait to see what it is all about!

Big Sur, one of my favorite sanctuaries in the world so far. Huge trees and the ocean all in one. What more could a girl ask for. Ocean and Mountains. Jordan has never been here so I can't wait to show him. Once you have been you will understand everything! We plan to stop in San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, Oxnard, and then head back home! I can't wait for this journey!

All in all it is over 3300 miles in driving (49 hours) but we are so excited.We plan on spending the next three months working our butts off to save for this trip. I think I will be collecting recycling, cleaning houses, babysitting, dog sitting, SLAVING or whatever it takes to save money as Jordan tries to work for his brother, brother in law, and possibly a restaurant job to make it happen. We are so excited.... beyond excited actually!!!! What do you think?

Perfect Day..

Most days lately I feel a huge lack of motivation. I wouldn't say that I am depressed just feeling that I have a lack of direction. I know it's already five months since I quit In N Out but I still feel almost a void. Not that I miss working there, but I just don't know what to do with all this TIME!!!! For the first year of our marriage I worked 50-60 hours a week, cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner, did the laundry, went grocery shopping, cleaned the house, hung out with friends and still managed to find time to sleep. Now I work 20 hours a week and I don't know how to get anything done. Haha, it's funny how that can happen. I only know how to live under immense stress. It sometimes feels like I can only function properly if there are a million things to get done an no time to do it. When there is an endless amount of time available I panic... I sit on the couch while everyone is at work and just stare into space. I know it sounds ridiculous but its the truth. There are not really any dishes to do, only one load of laundry that could get done, the house is pretty much picked up... now what? I could cook something... but food is expensive here. So what to do.... this is the story of most of my days.

Yesterday was a perfect day though. We slept in and had a lazy little morning and then we jumped in the car with our buddy Ryan (he's the bar manager at Jordan's work.) He took us up to the Kilauea Fish Market. Jordan and I have only been out to eat four other times in the past 5 months so this was pretty exciting! We were told we had to get the Seared Ahi Wrap. It was seriously incredible. We ate on this little outdoor patio at the market. Then we headed down to a beach that we had never been to before. Jordan and I played in the little river that ran into the ocean. It was pretty fun. I love that we can be kids together and find joy in small things. We would each find a stick or a seed, run into to the river at the top and drop our sticks on the count of three. Then we would run up the bank and follow them down to the ocean to see who's stick would win! I won four times and we tied twice! Yes we did this that many times. Then Ryan came over and him and Jordan layed on their backs to float and raced down the river. It was simple and so much fun. It felt so good to get out of the house! We came home and cuddled on the couch as we watch Cars 2! I like those days. Simple and innocent fun!

Pretty Bummed..

Our computer (my six year old lap top) is the only thing we have out here in hawaii and its starting to take a dump. We can sometimes manage to get on the internet enough to pay bills and stuff but not for blogging anymore. I am so excited to have our other computer back when we get home. But then again I will be three months behind in blogging. I have been keeping a journal of our trip so I will be able to update! I will return one day.....

Quiet time...

It was so great having all of our visitors but between that and work we ended up being pretty exhausted this week. So we just decided to lay low. Jord and Tim went sailing with some friends one day and we have also hit the beach a time or two but other than that we have been having some good old fashioned R and R! It's pretty amazing to be on your honeymoon everyday. With our new work schedules we get to spend so much time together! It's such an amazing gift after the first year of our marriage. Between my 40-60 hour weeks at In n Out and Jordan's 40 hour weeks at the Overlook we barely got the chance to hang out. There were many days where the only time I saw him for the day was when I got home after closing and he was sound asleep in bed. So for now, we are SOAKING THIS IN! We get up together, eat breakfast together, eat lunch, go on adventures, have dinner and hang out in the evenings... well plus or minus the few days we work. We are so beyond grateful for this opportunity. We got a book today of a bunch of trails and new beaches so we will definitely be going on some exciting adventures soon!

Summer Lovin'

One thing we love about living here is the constant reminder of this beautiful world we live in! It inspires us to see the whole world and all the amazing things in it!

beautiful clouds make beautiful sunsets!

check out the whispy clouds in this one... we cannot tell you how incredible they were in person.

kiss me like this forever!

how could you not love your life?!

Sunset on the south side! It's been another amazing week here on the island! Hope you are all well! We love and miss you all! -Jord and Jules

Mikey's Last Days!

Like I said we feel tremendously blessed to inherit a new brother and friend! We had so much fun just relaxing and hanging out island style! Thank you Mike for skipping your cali trip to come visit us!

He looked so vicious when we took him to Jordan's work right before the airport!

And of course you have to get an Ice Cold Coconut from the Farmer's Market before you leave!!

Monday-Funday!

Day Three: Who said Mondays are not fun! We jammed so many things into one day! While I was at work in the morning the boys went to Hopi Falls. It was the first hike Jordan and I did when we moved here last time. It is a short hike and there are two waterfalls. The second one has a huge pool at the bottom of it where you can just relax on the rocks and soak up the beauty. The first one has a small pool and you can jump off of it!

Tim and Mikey

This is the second fall.. the boys actually met a couple of girls from Denmark there and then they came on the rest of the adventures of the day!

Enjoying the waterfall! He jumped off that and the rope swing!

woooo.... slippery rocks!

Crusin the south side with the girls from Denmark. After the sunset we went to Pierre and Cheri's house for some backyard BBQ'in!!! It is a very full day but so fun to show Mikey our home.

Hanalei Bay...

Day Two of Mikey's Visit: Of course we had to take him to Hanalei! It is one of our favorite spots on the island. The North Shore is just beautiful here!

Showing Mikey the Taro fields...

Jordan did not want to be a tourist here! haha..... SO OVER IT!

Boys blowing up the relaxation station! They floated all day in it while I took a nap on the beach! It was absolutely an amazing and gorgeous day!

The Tri-Pod! They named themselves that back in Tucson and it just kind of stuck. Friends for life!

Sometimes we still sneak a kiss in, even if the boys are there!

Aloha!!

Eric in all his style of course had to throw Mikey a luau for his first night here. He roasted this pork all day, made some traditional Hawaiian salmon dish, green beans, rice.... I am pretty upset because I accidentally erased every picture I took that night. Here are just a few to give you an idea! Jordan decorated the table with all the local flowers and leaves! It was pretty amazing! The yard had tiki torches and chairs set up everywhere!

The feast!

Isn't he so adorable!?!

Shocka Bradda..... he thought it was funny and did it THE ENTIRE TRIP!

The Tri-Pod (quad-pod) Reunited!

On Saturday the 20th we had the amazing gift of our friend Mikey from Tucson coming to visit us! To take you back a bit, Jordan and I moved to Tucson at the end of May in 2010. Jordan got a job at The Overlook. We didn't know anybody. I was having a private party for the In N Out opening and Jordan told me he was bringing this guy he met at work, the maintenance supervisor. Quite honestly I was expecting some hairy old man... hahaha turns out he was our age and one of the greatest guys we have met! Jordan's first friend Mike Ruske! He is actually the one that introduced Jordan to Tim (our room mate here in Kauai. we convinced him to move out here for a bit!). So anyhow Mike came to visit! Jord and I have been blown away that these guys we have only known for one year and two months have become our family! They have added so much to our lives and shared so much of themselves with us. It's pretty incredible what one year can do. We are so blessed by them! CHEERS to you Mikey!!!!

This is our airport snapshot! Everyone was pretty stoked to see each other! Eric met Mikey and Tim when he came and stayed with us for six weeks in Feb '10. They went snowboarding and skating together! Now we are just one big happy family!

Eric wanted to do a high five on our way to the airport. We were going 40 MPH... very scary. I don't reccommend you try this at home.

First things first..... Kealia. This is a beach just 5 minutes from the house. It's a nice go-to spot when we don't have a lot of time. THE QUAD-POD reunited again!

Jord took Mikey down to the Bike path on the beach for a little cruise... they got lucky with the rainbow!

There he is! The man of the hour!