Rude Awakening

2013 was one of the best years of my life. I traveled through 16 states, 6 National Parks, drove 11,000 miles with the love of my life, met up with old friends and gained so many new ones. It was an incredibly beautiful experience....

Unfortunately, scattered throughout the year, Jordan and I lost 5 family members/close friends... all of them too soon. An unborn child, a 13 year old, a 31 and 32 year old, and a 62 year old. It didn't seem fair, that was too much death. We worked our way through each loss, processing the whys, the hows, the what nows? Each tragedy grew Jordan and I closer together and really created some amazing bonds with our group of friends who were all processing a lot of these deaths too. By the time year 2013 came to a close we were all relieved because we didn't want to lose anyone else. It was too much we couldn't stand anymore.   

All seemed to be going just the way we hoped it would in 2014.... everyone was still dealing with the pain of death but we were all trying to honor the lives and memories of those who had passed on. 

But that all changed the morning of March 5th, 2014. It was a pretty typical morning in our household, Jordan was sleeping and I was making my morning coffee so I could drink it out on the porch to watch the earth wake up as the birds chirped and the deer had breakfast on our lawn. As it was starting to brew I did a quick scroll through Facebook hoping to find some new pictures of my adorable nieces and nephews when something caught my eye.. it was actually kind of disturbing and upsetting. I saw some people had posted on a my really good friend's (she's like a sister) husband's page... they had said stuff like "We loved you so much" and "We are really going to miss you."

It was all in past tense.. like he wasn't around anymore. I was really confused. I just saw Sam's face five days ago over Face Time. We were all joking around talking about life, trying to convince each other to come visit the other. Sam and Jordan talked about cameras and photography (like usual) and we laughed a lot... Sam was doing some puppet show or something over Kirsten's shoulders. I started feeling nauseous and immediately sent a text Kirsten, and her sister, Bonnie. I asked them if everything was ok and told them about the weird posts on Facebook. Within a few minutes Bonnie text me back and said, 

"No, everything is not ok. Sam died, he's in heaven now."

I dropped my phone on the counter. This couldn't be happening. Bonnie and Kirsten had just lost their older sister and unborn baby niece not even four months ago. This is not real. I text her back with 

"I am so sorry. What can we do? We love you guys." 

They are family to us, their older sister was our room mate in Kauai when we lived there the first time and Jordan has known them all for over 10 years. The pain of all this is excruciating and I just wanted it to all to go away. Bonnie wrote me back and said, 

"Love you too. Plan a trip out here to support my sister please." 

I stared at my phone for a few more minutes still in complete shock. Then with a giant knot in my stomach I walked upstairs to tell Jordan. We sat in bed together and cried and kept saying how this couldn't be real. Sam was only 28, he has a one and half year old daughter... a beautiful wife... this can't be.  We felt in our hearts almost immediately that we needed to go out there. We couldn't be there with them when their older sister passed and we just had to be there for them now. This is way too much pain, too much loss... this is just too heavy.

So we posted a quick note on Facebook asking for help with cheap airline tickets. We couldn't afford for both of us to go at $1100 each. But maybe someone could help us be there to support our family. I walked down stairs and straight outside. I stared off into nature, then straight up to the sky... tears in my eye praying for Kirsten and her daughter Cozy. I told the Lord if He wanted us there we will go... just open the door Lord. I sat there for five minutes or so just begging and pleading for my friend. It is a worst nightmare situation, the complete unimaginable and my heart was breaking.

..... We want to help Lord.. just show us how.

I went back inside and my phone just went off. A dear friend of mine that I hadn't talked to much in the past year sent me a message saying that she works for American Airlines now and there was two tickets to Kauai for a fraction of the price if we wanted them. God heard my cries and I went to rejoice with Jordan. Within the next few hours we secured the tickets to depart the next morning, contacted our employers (who were extremely understanding), set up a donation website, and packed up some back packs. In times like these you just really need to be with the ones you love. So we were off without a second thought.

The donation site we set up for them

Kirsten, Sam and Cozy